Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Dating and Mating in Israel


In Israel dating and mating is very different from what many would imagine. Israel being the "Holy Land," gives the impression that everyone is religious, but that is not the case. There are people in Israel who are religious, but there are also those who do not follow religion. The attitude of most Israelis is an open mentality in regards to dating and sexuality. The fact that they are taught to be independent and self-sufficient gives them the freedom to date and mate as they want. A woman named Alison told her experience in Israel. She was shocked at how different dating is in Israel. She said people care about totally different things than in America. She noticed religion is a big deal in Israel. In many cases religion was the factor that determined if someone was datable or not. She also noticed that they always ask question about the army, so that shows how the army is a major part of their world. Another difference form other countries is that in Israel if someone makes an invitation, they are expected to pay for everything. 

There are two major factors that contribute for such an open sexual attitude. The first is that at age 18 they have to serve in the army for a period of time. The second contributor would be the threat of suicide bombings or any other terrorist attacks that could happen at any given time. In the army anything could happen and they do not know if they will return. They do not know what the future will bring so they start to have fun as soon as they can. In the book by Donna Rosenthal we can see the Israeli Motto, "Life is uncertain, so eat your deserts first." That explains perfectly how Israelis live their lives. They do not wait for the "right" time to do things, they start as soon as possible and enjoy it as much as they can. Living by this motto helps Israelis forget about the troubles around them and allows them to live without fear. They do not have a long-term vision, they live for today. 

There is a lot of partying, flirting, touching and flirtatious comments about others. What would be considered sexual harassment in other places, is simply having fun in Israel. In areas like Tel Aviv there are even women who approach men because they are so open about dating. Tel Aviv has a mix of different cultures and men and women constantly interact, that is why it is more open to such attitudes. Sex is very common among young people. A lot of these young people do not want serious relationships so they find friends for casual sex. Many parents know they do it and they are fine with it. They understand that life is uncertain in Israel so they want their children to experience as much as they can. 

There are problems that come up with certain relationships because of the differences of each person. There are cases where one is rich and the other is not. Sometimes one's family does not accept a person because they have different ideologies. The most common reason for a relationship not to function is because of the ethnic and religious differences. That is a major problem that persists in Israel and it affects people's personal lives. There are young Jewish men forming vigilante groups to go around looking for Jewish women with Arab men. They are against interracial dating. They do not want Jewish women dating Arab men. Whether the woman is Jewish and the man Arab or the other way around, interracial relationships are kept secret because there are many who still oppose them.

Not everyone in Israel is so open to dating and sexuality though. There are religious groups who follow the rules of religion and do not have open sexual attitudes. For example the Orthodox Jews, they are much different in their dating habits. Men and women are kept separate so they never have the chance to date. Since they do not go to the army, they do not have the opportunity to interact with the opposite sex. Most of them do not engage in premarital-sex or even come in any physical contact prior to marriage. The main idea behind dating in the first place is strictly to find a spouse. They go out on dates to see if they are compatible with the other person, if they are, they marry after a few months. They do not date for fun and they do not have casual sex.

The article of Alison telling her experience in Israel is only a small article that does not have prestige so in that sense its reliability can be questioned. It can be reliable because it is her own personal experience about dating in Israel. The article with the vigilante groups gives a good idea about what goes on with interracial relationships. Its reliability could be questioned because there were only a few people involved and the reasons for chasing down Jewish women with Arab men were not clearly established. She could have also put things in a way so that the readers could understand it in the way she wanted. The matador network site can be reliable because it gives tips about what travelers should know about Israel. They probably give accurate information because visiting a whole different country is a big deal and those are important things one should know.  
     


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